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Shower thoughts. U know u have serious acne when blind people try to read ur face-As a kid my parents taught me to not believe everything I see on TV, now I have to teach them to not believe everything they see on Facebook-Aliens invaded the Moon on July 20th, 1969— Vehicles today can surf the web, link to your phone, stream music and videos, etc.. but they still can't perform a simple database lookup to tell you what the check engine light is on for.-If you run at 11pm you are a night person. If you run at 5am you are a morning person. If you run at 3am you are a suspicious person

Im gonna fucking kms, why? THIS- bro im crying rn (not as a joke) here is the email I sent my mom

Uhm, remember when I gave your number to my friend? so when I pass my classes I can go over to their house? They had their number in their backpack pocket, and they were like "ADDISON IM GONNA CALL YOUR MOM" I freaked out, and I don't wanna get in trouble, so I'm apologizing now, instead of waiting until get home, and they called you about planned pregnancy, and I took the phone out of their hands and tried hanging up, but it didn't work, and I'm sorry. please don't me mad.

and I'm crying so hard rn ima kms

It's not even morning I got breakfast on my mind I need a number two, a number four, two number 9s And can you add a sausage, egg and cheese with hash browns on the side My boy Paulo want an orange juice But he said he don't want ice (No ice) Can I put some grape jelly in the bag that would be nice And I think I want some hotcakes can you make it 405 Can I add a chicken biscuit make sure that it's freshly fried And S… Read more

Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven

SHREK

Written by

William Steig & Ted Elliott

SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. … Read more

i am in need of someone who can assassinate my child baby shes horny pls help ahh

daddy help me I'm stuck

Shower Thoughts:

- Cheating in exams is just studying at the wrong time. - Parents are the opposite of fake friends. They have your back when you aren't there and talk shit about you to your face. - Technically, the biggest difference between surfing and snowboarding is just the temperature of the water. - If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie? - Does a straw have one hole or two? - Can you daydream at night? - When you’re alone in a room, you’re the only person in the world who can see what you can. - Millions of people are in synchronization with your breathing right now.

Do you guys go on this website for the jokes, or for the drama? Because I can clearly tell it's the latter. I mean, COME ON guys! You are arguing with people that have an age going from 10-16, it ́s pathetic. It doesn ́t matter what Ash is doing, its not our concern. No one helps this problem by adding onto the conversation. I ́m just not going to go onto the community tab anymore, it ́s unhealthy for me, and its unhealthy for you.

You KEEP REPEATING YOUR MISTAKES, just leave it alone, there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO!

If anyone needs someone to talk to, I can do a zoom call with some relaxing music on or something and ill just listen. I'll hear you, and ill comfort you.

god says that everyone deserves love and that NO BODY should be treated poorly, even marleigh. she may be awful and deserves to die in a flooded ditch, but god still loves her.

i would love to listen and comfort anyone who needs me.

bro @avaiscool this dude is 15 and your thirteen, he literally tryna pick you up so you can ride his dick man. dont trust him. he's been doing this every .single. day. first he liked lizz then , sad sarah, prob some other girl, now you. i fucking done with his shit man. like we are not friends, and we will never be.