Beast Community
Mr. Beast official Worst Jokes Ever accountTM
GENESIS 34 The Defiling of Dinah 1Now Dinah the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to see the women of the land. 2And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he seized her and lay with her and humiliated her. 3And his soul was drawn to Dinah the daughter of Jacob. He loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her. 4So Shechem spoke to his father Hamor, saying, … Read more
GENESIS 31 Jacob Flees From Laban 1Jacob heard that Laban’s sons were saying, “Jacob has taken everything our father owned and has gained all this wealth from what belonged to our father.” 2And Jacob noticed that Laban’s attitude toward him was not what it had been. 3Then the Lord said to Jacob, “Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you.” 4So Jacob sent word to Rachel and Leah… Read more
SHREK
Written by
William Steig & Ted Elliott
SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. … Read more
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I am the one, don't weigh a ton Don't need a gun to get respect up on the street (okay) Under the sun, the bastard son Will pop the Glock to feed himself and family (sheesh) By any means, your enemies my enemies We wet them up like a canteen (damn) The yellow tape surrounds the fate Don't have a face so now you late, open the gates
Great, eliminate like ElimiDate (woo) Hey, young boy had to penetrate (ooh) Face, you… Read more
I look like, dude- I FEEL like a DUMBASS! Real shit, okay, now, I still think you a beast upon the football field. As far as- me... liking you as a person, fuck you, dawg, okay? Can’t stand yo fuckin’ ass, dawg. Can’t stand you now, man! Y’know, and my whole thing is this, dawg, you fuckin’ up big time man, you over here-
When Jeremy Maclin went down, when, when, he tore his ACL and his fuckin’ MCL in the same goddamn day, dawg, I was over here, I’m lookin’ like, “Aw, shit, man, Jeremy Maclin went down”. Everybody’s all y’know, mad and pissed off, I’m lookin’ like, man, I’m lookin’ like, man, y’know I hope Jeremy Maclin ge-e-et better, but fuck, time for Riley Cooper, that [EXPUNGED]‘s a fuckin’ beast, fuckin’ hog, fuckin’ ballin’ out in the show, I mean, I mean, the [EXPUNGED]‘s a fuckin’ monster, you kno-ow what I’m saying, Riley Cooper, man, that dude, shit. Love him! Now I look like a fuckin’ idiot, man
Alright, so it’s a good thing I didn’t buy yo fuckin’ Jersey. Riley Cooper on some real shit. I was really gonna buy yo Jersey, I had my eyes set on it, man. I always thought of you bein’ a low-key fuckin’ beast, okay, fuckin’ monster, fuckin’ hog, fuckin’ ball out of control, okay? But as you guys know man Riley Cooper, he came out and used the word [EXPUNGED], okay? Now, I understand that he was drunk at a fuckin’ … Read more