Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says. -- Which makes me an eighth theist.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
