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Are jokes

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"

Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them, and now it’s a sensitive subject.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."

He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."

Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.

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    • Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.

    One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.

    Where are the others?

    They're in his freezer.

    Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?

    They’re just two weeks to quit.

    Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.

    The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.

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