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Are jokes

I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.

Hippity Hoppity, women are my property.

Bippity Boppity, get the f*ck off my property!

Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.

Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!

Little boy: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Little boy: Your parents.

Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”

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    • All these African jokes aren't funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Y'all are racist and may God forgive you. You know we're rich with natural resources, that's why y'all come to steal from us. Shame on you all!

    Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?

    A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?

    A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He went to his brother, who was playing with a Superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered "SUPERMAN!!!". Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said, "in the Barbie Dream House!" Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said, "Olé Olé Olé!!!". The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!", the teacher boomed. "Superman", the boy replied. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!", the teacher continued. "In the Barbie Dream House" "GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!" "OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!", the boy chanted on his was down the hall.

    Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.

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    • 20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.

    How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)

    3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)

    Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.

    20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.

    Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)

    3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.

    How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)

    Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.

    Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.

    My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.

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    • Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.

    About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"