And jokes
What’s the difference between a baby and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t squeal when I put my meat in it.
What’s the difference between Jimmy and a normal kid? Jimmy is fat.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.
"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
"Where did all the others go, then?"
What do the names Alan and Jordan have in common?
An.
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
You're American when you go in the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but what are you when you are still in the bathroom? European (you're-a-peein').
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
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What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What do you call the girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."