Wade ツ

He's on top of you! He's going in through the back! OH GOD, HE'S INSIDE!
Registered on · 107 followers

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke? Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.

The gayest person on Earth is Pac-Man. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Doctor: "What's your zodiac sign?"

Patient: "Cancer?"

Doctor: "What a coincidence."

People claim that Trump has Russian ties. That’s not true, just some crazy conspiracy theorists. All of Trump's ties are made in China.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital? Reload and keep shooting

There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said “Well, you’re fucked now.”

I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid, they were still breathing so I told them to walk it off.

School shooting : *Happens* Foreign Exchange Student: *Starts sobbing under desk* American Student: "First time?"

"Go big or go home", that's what some people say.

"Go loud and proud", that's what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!", that's what I say.

A priest, a rapist, a pedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar...

He orders a drink.