Stupid Vegetative Whore

Q. What's the difference between Danielle Smith and Terri Schiavo? A. Terri Schiavo had a higher IQ.

Q. What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a potato?

A. You can't starve a potato.

When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?

Derek Humphrey actually found the cure for Alzheimer's.

Just smother Alzheimer's patients with trash bags.

Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

I guess it really IS all in the execution.

Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?

A. A backroom deal.

When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?

Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?

In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?

It's often said that people peaked in high school.

I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.

I don't beat up midgets.

That would be punching down.

Danielle Smith obviously can't understand a rhetorical question.

Every time you ask her if she can get any dumber, she takes it as a challenge.

No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.

Explain Bear is always there for you.

I'm not saying Danielle Smith shouldn't party with oil barons.

I'm just saying that she should carefully watch her drink if she does.

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.

You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!

Q. What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a baby with anencephaly?

A. The anencephalic baby can't help not having a brain.

Q. What do Danielle Smith and a baby with anencephaly have in common?

A. Neither of them have a brain.

Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.

Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.