What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
PurplePanda
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes whack "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" whack.
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
What is the same between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.
Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.
Kid 1: Aw, thanks!
Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10
What the fluff happened to this website?
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
can someone please tell what happened?
Jazzy, please explain everything that happened... I want the tea. Also, Jazzy, what happened to your phone number and Insta?
If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?
If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?
Hey guys, I have a question.
Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?
