A man was in a courtroom. The judge said, "What should this man's punishment be?"
A random guy yelled, "Off with his head!"
The judge said, "He shall give head to every man in this room."
The guy yelled, "Wait, that's not what I said!"
bloodyboi
hey I'm Braden nice to meet ya, i like to draw, roleplay, and costplaying, sad and alone..
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
what do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? An RC-XD
What is another name for 9/11?
A forbidden game of Jenga.
When the school shooter drops his gun and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.
Whats red white and blue, and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
What is my most popular side of myself?
Suicide.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
Why is there a lot of whites in hockey? It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop
Yo mama so stupid, she bought a solar powered flashlight.
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...
Your hairline is like Mr. Clean's... nonexistent!