Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What is the difference between Iron man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What did the Titanic say as it sank? I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title? Finding emo.
An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.
There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.
That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called burger, prince
Q: What do you call a blind German man?
Q: A not-see (Nazi)
Like if u like school (i mean if you don't)
What do German do to ask a question, salute.
God needed and extra 2 hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
What’s the difference between a women and a policeman, one of em have rights.
What do you call a shadow : Tyrone don’t be a coon
What’s the worst joke ever, your parent’s relationship.
