My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer. Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer then someone would kill me.

i threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters, the teacher was upset, i guess they dont read the news

What do the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them but now it's a sensitive subject.

your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called burger, prince

My pp was in the guiness world record book. The librarianthen asked me to take it out.

My wife said if I rape her again she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?