my friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago. he can tell the future.
Anonymous
Your hairline is so far back it look like it got smacked up by will smith
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair
Guess who likes vegetables now?
Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like “JUST OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND CLOSE YOUR EYES”
What's the difference between saying bloody in America and in the U.K?
In the U.K, it's a swear word
In America, it's a family reunion
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with"
Me: "Nun"
A mother and son were in the backyard and the son finished building a shed. The mother says "You're the best husband ever"
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists
I found a lot of matches
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off
Want to know how joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back
Why is UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
Do u know that Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she
Your mum is so fat and so dumb that she toke a spoon to the superbowl
Your mum is so fat that she toke a spoon to the supercool
why do orphans dont use iphones. because they dont have a home button
why orphans dont have iphones. because they dont have a home button
What are a group of depressed people called?
A suicide squad
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around"
I cried when my dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.