Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. 12.99 from Ikea.
Allan C.
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish. It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking..
Abandon ship!
As you can see here, Jessie is wearing a lot on concealer.
Jessie?
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him and now is your chance to make your escape he really is a little shit isn't he?!
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
Using Pi, distract that fat kid next to you and copy his answers.
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said "Are you going to ask for directions or what?".
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
Nope, should've gone to Specsavers.
Let me just remove my finger from your bottom. Thank you nurse.
Would you mind just peeing into this cup please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.
It's getting near midnight and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey. To remind him what colour his piss is meant to be.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas, I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body and all that's left I'm afraid is the wig, Mrs. Trump.
Look! An ancient African city!
From the makers of Timbukone...