Allan C.

Unregistered

Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.

I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Quilty or Not Quilty?

Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.

Alen vs. Predator

And Sterling has taken a dive. That's all for financial news, back to the football.

Draw an accurate diagram representing the elephant genitalia. Use all 30 sheets of paper provided.

And there the referee taking down Ronaldo's number. Not really the time or the place but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.