Twos jokes
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...
Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?
The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
I hate two-faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.
What do you call a Twinkie with two pairs of pants?
Double trousers.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
There were three men, and two of them died.
The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
The doctor told me I was so retarded, I was required to ride two wheelchairs.
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!