The jokes

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Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?

Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"

I wish the grass outside of my house was emo, because it would cut itself.

I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.

A Story:

I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.

Sequel follows...

If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.

1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.

2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.

3) 10 dead babies.

When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).

You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."

How many letters are in the English Alphabet?

Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.