Taxi ride jokes

Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.

Your forehead is so big, it's a $20 taxi ride from your hairline to your eyebrows.

Your forehead is so big that it's a 20 dollar taxi ride from your eyebrow to your hairline.

Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"

A cop stopped a guy for speeding.

He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.

The cop said, "But there is no traffic."

And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."

How many times does 43 go into 8?

Get in the van and find out.

Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.

-JFK

I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.