Mon jokes

Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.

Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”

“Under my bench,” he replies.

Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"

The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"

Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."

What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?

Poke me, mon.

Son: What's for dinner tonight?

Mom: Steak!

Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?

Mom: HUNGER!

What key opens a banana?

A monkey.

Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...

“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”

Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.

Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?

Because he lost May!