Misperception jokes

Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.

I miss understood that, Miss Understood.

"I wasn't that drunk yesterday."

"Oh boy, you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."

Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?

From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.

I hate it when I don’t understand someone.

A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.

I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."

A girl had black hair. Also, I threw rubbish at her to realize she wasn't a bin.