Meteorologist jokes

I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.

Q: How did the skeleton know it would rain? A: He read the weather forecast.

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.

What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?

Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"

Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."

Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."

Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."

Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.