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Sacrifice

Anonymous · 2 years ago

In a classical painting style, Jesus is sitting and talking to a group of people. Text overlaid on the image says, "SO I WAS LIKE, 'YO ABRAHAM, YOU SHOULD SACRIFICE YOUR SON.' THEN I WAS LIKE, 'WOAH, I WAS JUST KIDDING, BRO'"

Parent

Jazzy💕 · 2 years ago

A two-panel image. The first panel shows a young boy sitting on a couch, holding a mug, and smirking slightly. The second panel shows the same boy running away up a flight of stairs, his back to the camera. The text reads: "When you wanna tell your parents a story but you remember it was all illegal."

Trip

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Laugh

shaylie lol · 2 years ago

A two-panel image showing a blond woman on the left side of the left panel and a dark-haired woman on the right of the left panel. The blonde woman is crying with her mouth open and the dark-haired woman is looking down. The right panel shows the same blonde woman from the left panel smiling widely with watery eyes. Above the two panels are the words: "When you're trying to tell your friend a joke but u can't stop laughing."

Spoon

Jazzy💕 · 2 years ago

I be ready like come on mfs

A gray cat stands holding a book and a cross. Text says: "After watching horror movie and you hear spoon fall down in the kitchen. Satan is that you?!"

House

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

bro wtf is tihs ad

A video game ad showing a baby crawling away from a man in an orange shirt in a house. The text says, "Play Whos Your Daddy. Play Around In Your Two-Story House And Garden Packed With Potentially Dangerous Items. Sponsored. MaxLevelFun. Download"

Case

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a Wikipedia article titled 'Enumclaw horse sex case.' The article details a 2005 incident where Kenneth D. Pinyan died from internal injuries after engaging in bestiality with a stallion. The article mentions other participants, James Michael Tait and Douglas Spink, and discusses the legal changes in Washington state prompted by the incident, including making bestiality a Class C felony. A map shows the location of Enumclaw, Washington State.

Time

Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 2 years ago

Jorking my peniys

The image is a screenshot of a tweet by user @Xvstardust_. The tweet text reads: One time I was jorking mine peniys and... Well... Let's just say it got hard...

Titanic

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A tweet by Sarah Cooper says: Titanic (1997). Scientist: Where's the diamond? Old lady: *three hour long story about how she lost her virginity*

Story

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Man

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a Daily Mail article. The headline reads: "Young man forced to post a photo of his passport on Facebook to prove his real name is 'Phuc Dat Bich'... after his account is banned THREE times". There is a smaller picture of the young man, and a passport image with the name "Phuc Dat Bich", and the dates 03 JAN 1992, 17 SEP 2013, and 17 SEP 2023. The passport is from Australia.

Truck

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a comparison of two images of trucks with the text 'how it started' and 'how it's going' written above it. The first image on the left shows a white truck with its front hood open and two cartoon hands pointing at the vehicle. The second image on the right shows two trucks in a romantic embrace, framed by a red heart. The image also has the user name "dexter" and the handle "@DexterSoWhat" and the text "So now even trucks getting more love than me?"

Author

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The meme shows three different people. The first panel shows J.K. Rowling, with the text "Has a good idea and writes a book". The second panel shows George R.R. Martin, with the text "Has a good idea and writes a book". The third panel shows J.R.R. Tolkien, with the text "Creates a language, feels like it needs a story and writes a book".

Relationship

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A painting of Romeo and Juliet on a balcony, with text on the right side. The text reads: 'Romeo & Juliet is not a love story. It's a 3-day relationship between a 13yr old and a 17yr old that caused 6 deaths. Sincerely, Everyone Who Actually Read It.'

Kid

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A cartoon scene shows Perry the Platypus wielding a lightsaber against Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who is also wielding a lightsaber. The text above reads: "Gonna tell my kids this was Yoda VS Count Dooku"

Spongebob

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A picture shows Spongebob Squarepants dressed as a wizard, hanging from a rope. Text above the image reads: "After Spongebob realizes he cannot revive Hitler using black magic, he hangs himself." Text below the image says: "Saddest Suicide Story-You Will Cry" and "26,524 views"

Party

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."

Boredpanda

Silly Sonka · 2 years ago

Gonna get a lil weird, gonna get a lil wild

A cartoon character with blonde hair and a pink headband has a panda face superimposed over her face with the text: I AIN'T FROM ROUND THERE. I'M FROM THE BOREDPANDA.

Woman

dabestjoke · 2 years ago

Hello. Here's my story . An unemployed woman looking for love. I went on tindar because my friends were talking about it. I matched with a guy who asked me weird questions like if i could send pictures on my private areas, Being confident i said no.

A person is holding a fan of US dollar bills in front of their face. Only their eyes, part of their hat and their hand holding the money can be seen. The background is blurred and dark.

Love Story

原田 · 2 years ago

bro they got a better love story than me

The image shows a two-panel meme. The first panel shows two squirrels sitting at a small table and eating spaghetti. The second panel shows one of the squirrels lying on its back with the other squirrel on top of it, implying they are engaging in sexual activity. The text on the image says: "Damn, their little date went good."

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