Worst Jokes Ever

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Why should you care

You are god if you can do any of these

The image shows a collage of four different images. The top left image shows Thor's hammer. The top middle image shows a sword stuck in a stone. The top right image shows a smiling baby with the text "THIS IS HOW I FEEL WHEN THE COMBINE COMES OUT OF THE SHED". The bottom left image shows hands trying to remove a bucket. The bottom right image shows a sign with text: "EVERY TWENTY MINUTE JOB IS ONE BROKEN BOLT AWAY FROM BECOMING A THREE DAY ORDEAL."

Pankake

Credit to the original uploaded

The image is a four-panel comic strip of a yellow bird wearing a Christmas hat and scarf. In the first panel, the bird sits on a perch near a window with the caption "this is the best time of the year!". The second panel shows a hand petting the bird with the caption "human stays home to scritch me more". In the third panel, the bird is near a Christmas tree with the caption "human also puts out more perches". The fourth panel shows the bird next to a present with the caption "and makes some shredding toys just for me!".

Amir De OG

Fucking America my ass, INDIA FOR LIFE!!!! 💩🦶🍲🪔

The image shows a split comparison between vegan food in America and vegan food in India. On the top left are two 'wojak' figures next to two burgers labeled 'vegan'. The text reads: 'Here's a vegan meal that tastes like meat using the power of chemicals and preservatives.' On the top right the figure is shocked and says, 'WOW, it tastes like just like meat, and no animals where harmed!' On the bottom left are two turban-wearing characters next to two bowls of what appears to be Indian curry. The text reads: 'Using the powers of spices and herbs, we made this meal taste great, even with out the use of meat.' On the bottom right is another turban-wearing character that says, 'Thank you for this meal'.

Why should you care

Truly are

A set of translucent red and white dice with the title "The Cursed dice" above. The text describes the strange properties of cursed dice, including their unnatural glow, and their ability to roll specific numbers on command.

Unimportant Intelligence

heh

The image has a black background and white text that reads, "DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T BREATHE FAST AND STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT AT THE SAME TIME?" Below that is "GOOD BOY! NOW, SIT AND ROLL!"

Unimportant Intelligence

Best president

The image shows a black and white photograph of Teddy Roosevelt. Above the picture there is text that says: "did you know? A man once pointed two guns at Teddy Roosevelt and insisted that he pour drinks for the entire bar. Teddy said, 'Well, if I've got to, I've got to,' then stood up, knocked the guy out with three punches, and took his guns away." The image also has a photo source and a website at the bottom: "PHOTO: WIKIMEDIACOMMONS" and "DIDYOUKNOWFACTS.COM".

Heroin Monkey

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

Heroin Monkey

An image of Aladdin holding a magic lamp with a blue genie beside him. The text says, "Aladdin taught me that good things happen to those who rub one out."

MEME LORD

The image shows a tweet by Stanford F. Pines, PhD. He tweeted, 'It appears that there are 4 inches of snow today.' The tweet is above a picture of a hole in the snow, which is where he took the measurement.

MEME LORD

The image shows a text box above an image. The text says, "I fucked my hamster to death. Am I a psychopath? Basically I was fucking my hamster, like I usually do. But then I forgot to pull out. The hamster had cum leaking from its eyes and mouth. Then it exploded. I felt no remorse. Am I a psychopath?" Below is an image of a cartoon bear with an angry expression.

Heroin Monkey

sorry pancreatic
cancer but i
dont think you
qualify as an emotion
this is bullshit
you let spongebob in
sponging out is an
important step in a
persons life how about
you read a fucking book

Heroin Monkey

A dog wearing a top hat and a suit, with a cigar in his mouth. The text above and below the image says: "Jeeves, put out the Persian rugs. I wish to drag my anus."

Oogway

Me acting like I'm cool
with the crackhead at
the bus station so he
doesn't stab tf out of
BUS
STOP
me
00D

Heroin Monkey

A selfie of a dark-skinned man wearing white goggles and a white head covering. He looks annoyed. In the background, several people are scattered around a snowy hill, some on sleds, and one man is kneeling to strap in a snowboard.

Heroin Monkey

A person wearing a white cowboy hat and sunglasses is looking down. Text overlaid on the image says, "getting escorted out of a gun show for rating them based off mouth feel".

Heroin Monkey

Trying out this new golf cart and just hit a family
of 4! Talk about a squad wipe! #noskins

tabs1528

Three figures in armor, including Napoleon and Hitler. One figure says, "Me, going out without my jacket," while the text below reads, "thinking it's not gonna be that cold."

Heroin Monkey

A USB drive is made to look like a KitKat bar. The text says: "These kids think they gonna get candy tonight when really I'm handing out 80 hours audio on why count dooku was actually a good guy."

Heroin Monkey

Anonymous 10/15/14(Wed)19:11:37 No.5329752
how are slovenia and slovakia different?
same flag, similar names
Anonymous 10/15/14(Wed)21:48:03 No.5329982
>>53297529
how are your face and your ass different?
both look the same, shit comes out, dicks go in

Heroin Monkey

the homeless man watching me pull
out a .357 revolver and paint the
sidewalk with my own brains after he
asked me for a dollar
&@nickreynaa

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