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Shrek

biscuit · 2 years ago

shrek has a potato for a nose

An illustration from a children's book showing a green, ogre-like character named Shrek standing over a dead peasant on the ground. Shrek is wearing a pink and purple tunic and green pants. He has laser beams coming from his eyes that are heating a piece of food on a large rock. The peasant lies on the ground, wearing a yellow tunic and red pants. The text below describes Shrek's interaction with the peasant and how the peasant died from seeing Shrek, while Shrek used his "microwave eyes" to heat his meal.

Hate

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A four panel drawing shows a person sitting, then a larger person comforting them. The last two panels show the first person at a computer looking at the screen, and then the person in the last panel at the keyboard looking angry. The first panel says "I hate myself" and the last panel says "Wow! I hate this more."

Frog

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A person's eye is shown. A text overlay says, "I just noticed your avi looks like a frog trying to hold a elevator open."

Robot

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a male height chart. At the top, for the height of 6'3, 6'2 and 6'1, is a tall robot. For the height of 5'11, 5'10 and 5'9, there's a crying Wojak, with the text "I am six foot!!! I am six foot!!!" under it. For the heights from 5'8 to 5'3, a cute kitten is pictured in a towel.

Item

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

guys i unlocked the forbidden item in infinite craft

An image with a dark background, a stylized galaxy icon inside a rounded rectangular element and the text '???' next to it.

Movie

Geiger · 2 years ago

A screenshot from a TV show, showing a woman with long blond hair (Daenerys Targaryen) half-naked in front of some candles. The text says "This is why". Above, the text says "Me: I hate watching movies with subtitles. Friend: but why?"

Accident

Geiger · 2 years ago

A Google search bar with the query "help i acci" and search suggestions including "help i accidentally", "help i accidentally summoned a lemon", "help i accidentally summoned a demon", "help i accidentally memes", "help i accidentally became ruler of mandalore", and "help i accidentally restarted the ussr".

Bird

shaylie lol · 2 years ago

A small bird is sitting on a window ledge, looking at the camera with an angry expression. The text above the bird reads: "This bird landed by my window and stared at me like I murdered his whole family."

Health

shaylie lol · 2 years ago

A person in black pants, a white shirt and a cap is seen in a contorted pose on a golf course, holding a golf club. The text above the image reads: "Me: My back hurts, I wonder why. My sleeping position:".

Argument

shaylie lol · 2 years ago

A person is lying on the floor, looking distressed. The text says, "me laying in bed at 3 am when i realize i should've said something else in an argument i had in 2011".

Surprise

shaylie lol · 2 years ago

A close-up photo shows a silver door handle that has been pulled off the door. The handle's plate has two screws that look like eyes and the hole for the handle is like an open mouth giving it a surprised expression. The text above reads "Just pulled the door handle off, safe to say it was as surprised as I was..."

Accuracy

Thoughtless · 2 years ago

I am smart!

The image shows a game summary with the text "Hats off to You, Genius!" above. Below there is a message stating "You have new items in the shop for your Qbit! Buy items for Qbit". There is an accuracy bar that is 14% filled. Finally, the score is 7130.

Man

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a text with the first line "Me: I promise I won't form a perfect 256-man Macedonian phalanx tonight" and the next line says "3 DRINKS LATER", followed by an illustration of a Macedonian phalanx.

Violence

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A black and white image shows two soldiers in a trench. One soldier is crouching and aiming his gun forward, while the other one is holding a hand grenade. The text reads: "I don't know. Videogames haven't been invented yet. Bro, what is 'violence'?"

Cigarette

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a cartoon landscape with many reddish, tree-like plants. On top of the image are the words "Man if only I had a place to put out my cigarette." followed by "My daughter's forehead:"

Condom

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a meme with text at the top and a picture of a man looking bewildered at the bottom. The text reads: "Mom: 'Your sister is turning nine, buy a candle with the number on it.' Gf: 'Buy some condoms.' The cashier when I get to the counter:"

Accident

DAP ME UP · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a Google search bar with the text 'help i accidentally joined' typed in and a list of search suggestions below, including phrases such as 'help i accidentally invaded poland', 'help i accidentally restarted the ussr', 'help i accidentally built a jeep', 'help i accidentally summoned a lemon', and 'help i accidentally the cat'.

Flashlight

randomone · 2 years ago

Weaponization of flashlights

The image is a four-panel image featuring two characters. In the first panel, one character states "I have epilepsy." In the second panel the other character holds a card. In the third panel the first character says "Have a look at my flashlight in strobe mode". In the fourth panel the second character has an exaggerated frightened expression.

Slur

Fridge DJ · 2 years ago

Gnarpy threatens to call me the n slur

A green cartoonish character from a video game is standing in a room and saying: "DON'T MAKE ME ZAY IT. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE."

Finger

♢ Shy Dragon ♢ · 2 years ago

The image shows a text conversation. The first message reads, "I just typed 'finger' with my finger xd". The second message is, "WHAT?". Also, a grey sticker with the text "child slave" is placed above the first text message.

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