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God

A special quote:

The image is a four-panel comic. The top left panel shows an off-white character with a circle head and simple features saying "What if you". The top right panel shows a stairway leading up to a bright sky with clouds, with the text "wanted to go to heaven?". The bottom left panel shows the same character with an upset expression and the text "But god said:". The bottom right panel shows a yellow character with big eyes and a big smile, with the text "You are a disgrace to the entire art community, and the entire world would rejoice if you never touched a piece of paper again ever!!!!!"

Traffic Stop

His ass going to jail

The image shows a blue car with three minions inside. Text overlay says: "A cop pulled me over and said, 'Papers.' I said, 'Scissors, I win and drove off!!'"

Minion

dont say this to my jokes .. OK

A yellow minion with large goggles looks confused with an open mouth and the text "Whaaaat?" written next to it. Above the minion, the text reads "When everyone else gets the joke and I'm just sitting there like".

Hide

A photo of Osama bin Laden with the text "HIDE AND SEEK CHAMPION" above his head and "2001-2011" below him.

Memes

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Wife

The image shows a comparison between modern and ancient Sith. The modern Sith are depicted as whiny and emotional, lamenting about being stuck in a machine and having their superweapon destroyed. The ancient Sith are portrayed as stoic and embracing pain, declaring "TO PAIN IS TO LIVE, AND BOY, AM I LIVING!"

Celebrity

The image shows a person with a hand-drawn, simple face over a photo of a woman on a red carpet. The text above reads: "Hello fellow humans, I am celebrity No. 2932, I believe in everything that is safe and popular with people aged 18-35. You may now praise me on the social media platform of your choice, remember to purchase my newly manufactured album."

Harry Potter

The image shows a comparison of four headshots, two from the Harry Potter movies of Draco Malfoy and Ron Weasley as young boys and two of the musicians Eminem and Ed Sheeran. The text on top says: "Remember Draco and Ron from Harry Potter? This is them now..."

Funeral

DANG, like for a Cookie

A young boy with blond hair is wearing a green sweater and a teddy bear pinned to the front. The text on the image says: "Old people at weddings always poke me and say 'You're next.' So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."

Trailer

Matpat in a nutshell

Camera

The hero we needed but didn’t deserve

A picture shows the character Spiderman lying on the floor while other people watch him. On the left, a blue character from the game Among Us is placed on the image. The text on the image says: "When you stand and die in front of camera to bait the impostor so security will know. Carefully, he's a crewmate."

Blush

<33

The text says: "Javi: *I accept the fact that you sleep on me and sit down, allowing you to rest in my lap. I have a faint blush on my face.*" The text is on a black background.

Announcement

The image shows an email inbox with several emails visible. One email, from "William" at "Counseling Commons," contains offensive language such as "Hello Fucktard," "You smell like cat shit," and "Kill yourself." Another email is from Dr. [redacted]. Text overlaid on the image reads "who hurt the principle dawg" along with crying emojis and TikTok usernames.

God

A person in a hospital bed surrounded by a vast array of medical equipment, including monitors, tubes, and pumps. Text overlay reads: "religious people will see this and say 'He's in God's hands now'". A watermark in the lower left says "@anti_theist_v1.0".

Voice

wtf is my fyp

The image shows a screencap of an anime character with a surprised and flustered expression. Above the anime character is text that says, "when I'm touching myself to his voice in vc and he randomly calls me beautiful and I."

Cake

A cake with a white glaze is shown next to screenshots of comments on social media. The top comment reads "made a cake and elton john farted on it wtf" and the bottom comment reads "i literally dgaf".

Cat

A black cat with wide eyes and mouth open. Text says: "When you realise it's 4am and you're late for running up and down the hallway."

Duck

A photo of a duck with text saying: IF IT LOOKS LIKE A DUCK AND QUACKS LIKE A DUCK IT'S NOT A HORSE

Memes

2 years ag
be straight lying I tried seducing my teacher
and I got court next week
☛354
Reply

Fridge

this is especially fun with human body's

The image shows a meme. The text says "WHEN SOMETHING CLEARLY DOESN'T FIT IN THE FRIDGE SO YOU FORCE THE DOOR SHUT AND LET IT FALL OUT ON SOMEONE ELSE". Below the text there are two faces, one is a yellow cartoon character with a wide grin on the left and another one is a cowboy with flames around him on the right.

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