Medical emergency jokes
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?
My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.
What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.
My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses.
His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?"
"Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.
