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A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ̈Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! ̈ After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ̈Yes sir! ̈ After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ̈Forks and knives, forks and knives! ̈ After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ̈Goody-goody gumdrops! ̈ A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You ́re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!

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How do you find a red neck virgin?

Just look for a 4 year old they can run faster than her brothers

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man." I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."