Looking At jokes
What's hot and hard?
Me when I look at children.
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
When they said sin was ugly to look at, I didn't know God would use you as an example.
Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.
Two mates walk into a bar.
Mate 1: "Shit! Look at that spider over there!"
Mate 2: "Whateverrrrrrr."
Mate 1: "No, seriously, it's bloody massive!"
Mate 2: "(Turns around) Shit, that's huge, I thought you were joking."
Mate 1: "No, I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)"
what do you see in this picture look carefully im joking just look at the picture happy valentines
If I were in a staring contest with you, I would be looking at a rainbow.
How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.
I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.
Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"
The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"
The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"
The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.
Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"
Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."
Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"
Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."
Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"
Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."
A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.
The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."
Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.
The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."
At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."
Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
This is what the unknown guy is saying about Tenya and Kenya!
Go to each link and read it and the comments, and it will really make you cry!
http://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fb240eccd25122cb21997/kenya-will-end-up-all-alone
https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fa7beeccd25122cb2197b/fine-then-if-i-cant-do-gwen-then-i-guess http://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fbb2aeccd25122cb219a5/kenya-at-least-you-know-youre-ugly-and-accept-itit-is-tenya-and-kenya-twin-sisters
You think Gwen is the worst one to get bullied? Well look at this!
Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"
Wanking.
Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."