Lewandisney jokes

Contract

    • ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

    Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

    Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

    Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

    I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

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    Statue

    • Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.

    The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!

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    • Invisibility cloak

    • I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.

    That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!

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    • Donald Trump

    • "Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"

    "Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"

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    Cinderella

    • Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?

    Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"

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