in Sex

A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass, bitch.”

Comments (35)


just what it wants

This is an hypnotic language pattern how the fuck did you get it 🤨

I knew that ending was coming, but didn't think it would be a cop... Well done!!

That's funny as hell



Wife set him up


Quite literally FUCKING HELL

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If the cop said it right, the voodoo dick would have gone in his ass

Good one 😂😂😆


XD hella good

*intense moaning* 😥😥😥😥😥😓😓😓😓😓😓😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😔😔😔😣😣😣😣😣

*intense moaning* 😥😥😥😥😥😓😓😓😓😓😓😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😔😔😔😣😣😣😣😣

Idk I kinda want that voodoo dick

I had a dick before a toy one when I was 13 and my dad shoved it in there good. I needed a hospital trip badly

wtf ^

i had a dick to until my set sis wanted it

cop goes to commissioner said sir there a voodoo dick in my ass Commission : Voodoo Dick! My Pussy

Batman and JESSICA.



U kind want that Voodoo dick 😳

I do

wierd but inappropriate kids probaly wanted to search up jokes and see this👁👅👁

too much to read


I am that wooden penis

That hurts man