Hard Candy

Hard Candy jokes

Guy

Friend: Why did you touch me?

Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.

Missing child

My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."

- One of the thousands of missing children.

  • 5
  • Misunderstanding

    A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."

  • 7
  • Candy

    If you think about it, taking candy from a baby is good because candy is bad for babies.

  • 0
  • Pedophile

    A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."

  • 2
  • Community

    Typically, the base for lean is a strong prescription cold medicine, specifically cough syrup that contains both promethazine and codeine. Other preparations use codeine/guaifenasin, hydrocodone/chlorphenamine, hydrocodone/APAP, and hydrocodone/homatropine. Over-the-counter cold medicines that contain dextromethorphan (often paired with guaifenasin or acetaminophen) as the active ingredient have also been used, as th… Read more