GUI jokes

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

What do you call a guy from India calling you?

A scammer.

Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

He was the best pilot in Arab.

How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.

Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website.

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.

What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?

Transparent.

Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

"I met a girl and she's 28."

"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

- AJR

A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.

I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!

I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.

We started playing rocket league.

How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. They hire me to do it.

About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater...

He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read.