I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
My dad died in 911 he was a great pilot
Today, I operated on a little girl, she needed O- negative blood. We didnโt have any, but her twin sister has O- negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didnโt think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, โso when will I dieโ? she thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin
Why did Steven hawking die? He lost wifi connection and don't get the data plan.
i dont want to die alone.... that is why i am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!
When a asteroid is coming to kill us all: 98.9% of the population: OMG WERE ALL GONNA DIE 1% of the population: eh.. I neber had any friends anyway. Alia: ROLL THE INTRO
Its muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die , die.
What did they do with Michal Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego so kids could play with him for once
Yesterday i saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no so i asked him if he needed help. And he said yes so i let him in my car and said dont worry youโll be home with you parents soon. He said my parents died. I said i know.... i went for the cliffs
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
Yes the Queen has died today, can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross dressing as her.
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first. Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first." The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die." Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
Daughter: mommy what ever happened to Steven hawking? Mother: he died. Daughter: how did he die? Mother: he never got recharged.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP ๐
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
Sketchy dude: you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die Me: if i push it more than once do i get more money Sketchy dude: yes but more people die Me: *rapidly pushes button* this is how you solve world hunger. Sketchy dude: ... wtf, your insane. Me: ...
The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. โIt's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.โ
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. "It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!"
