Dying jokes
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.
Some bread teacher: What will Reddit be in a few years?
Dumb Kid: DEADit?
Bread Teacher: You get an FY for FUCK YOU!
Bread Teacher: It will be BREADit!
Student: Hah, that's VERY funny! Might as well go to DEADit so I can die of laughter.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Stop making jokes about cancer... I might sound like a Karen, but it’s not fair... My mum died of cancer last month, and still I cry nearly every night 🙏🏻
Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.
So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.
You are so ugly my man died.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
My mom died.
Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?
They don't have parents to protect them.
The cemetery sure is overcrowded today.
I guess people are dying to get in.
Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.
Why did the sheep die? Cos he wasn’t pretty enough.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
I think I know why Stephen Hawking died, he pressed Alt+F4.