Dying jokes

Man dies.

How did Steven Hawking die?

He blew a fuse doing an update.

Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.

Stephen Hawking died.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall.

What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?

You die of laughter.

Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.

This is how to die soft 101.

Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?

When Stephen Hawking died, I assume his computer crash caused it.

My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.

Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.

My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...

He fell from a tower.

What happens when Steven Hawking dies?

Take his iPad to Cash Converters.

Guys, these jokes are not funny. My dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever.

DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."

And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...

On the floor.

And died.

The end.

My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."

Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.

I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.

Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.

Me: What? Am I dying?

Doctor: No, your wife is.

Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.

Friend: What kind?

Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.

Friend: That's not funny..

Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.

Friend: I'm calling your mom.

Me: She knows.

Friend: What's she doing to help, then?

Me: She's supposed to help?

Friend: Have you told your dad?

Me: I will when he comes back.

Friend: Where is he?

Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.

Friend: ....

Me: What?

Friend: Why?

Me: Why what?

Friend: Why would you joke like that?

Me: I was joking..

Friend: I know.

Me: Oh. I didn't know.

Friend:...

Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...