Dying jokes
Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.
I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
I got jealous when my phone dies.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!
Ex: baby i miss u.
Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.
Ex: who died?!
Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.