Dying jokes

How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:

In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?

Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?

Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.

Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.

"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."

What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?

Dying alone.

Die.

Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?

They couldn't close the casket.

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.

She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀

You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.

I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.

I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.

It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

Why did Steven Hawking die?

A quad rasher ran him over.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.

Man: How do you prepare your chicken?

Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.

Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!

All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.