Dying jokes

Three nuns die in a car crash, but they all make it to heaven. They're standing at the pearly gates, and Saint Peter says to them, "Don't worry, you're going to get in, but first I need you to answer these questions."

He asks the first nun, "What was the name of the first woman?" The nun says, "Eve." Saint Peter says, "Go on in."

Then he asks the second nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?" The second one says, "The Garden of Eden." Saint Peter says, "You can go through."

Finally, he gets to the third nun and says, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun stands there a little confused and says, "Boy, that's a hard one." Saint Peter, shocked, goes, "That's correct! Go on in."

Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!

So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"

The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"

Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!

So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"

So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"

My grandpa was a great pilot, but he died on September 11, 2001.

A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"

"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"

My dad died in the 9/11 attack. He was a good pilot.

You shouldn't joke about 9/11. My grampa died on 9/11. He was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?

She can't say no!

Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.

Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.

1: My grandpa died last year.

2: What kind of cancer?

1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.

There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He turned off the Wi-Fi.

My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.

Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.

Stephen Hawking died because he got unplugged from his Ethernet cord.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.

What do your teacher and your friend have in common? They will both die eventually.

The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He drove too far away from the power point/modem.