Dying jokes
"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"
My dog died.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
I read the joke "what we breathe is called oxygen, that is African food" to my African friend, but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Don't joke about Juice WRLD; he died a hard life, so get f***ed.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the Wi-Fi cord.
Stephen Hawking did not die; he deleted himself.
The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.
Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.
Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."
I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'
I was eating this girl out the other day and I tasted horse semen... I looked up at the girl and said “that’s how you died, grandma!”
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?