Don't Jokes

horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

why is orphan so scared of the dark they don't have a dad to check the closet,

Why don't midgets use tampons? Answer: They are always tripping over the string.

They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0

What do you get when you put a Suicide bomber in a wheel chair? A RC-XD.

What is the difference between a Apple and a Orphan? Orphans don't get picked.

What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.

What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?

I don’t put fruit in a blender.

say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.

I don't always roll a joint, but when I do it's my ankle.

(Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

Every wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?

The made the toys

What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.

If at first it don't succeed try, try again.

F is for friends who don't talk to you. U is for Ur alone. N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.

Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!

How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate.......

[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"

[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0

The school shooter: I finally found you worthless crybabies!! The Quiet Kid: How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same? The school shooter: I don't know. The Quiet kid: When you pull them out every body wants to be your friend.