Do jokes
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
What do you call a deaf child?
-Ryan Simmonite-
Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?
Sorry, still working on it!
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
What do you call a bald science teacher?
HOBBS LOL XD :)
Why do bees have sticky hair? They always use honeycombs.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.