Do jokes
Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?
A. A Billy Goose.
Why are Communists considered the left?
Because they can’t do anything right.
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
Where do you find the best comedians?
In the funny farm!
What do crows get after they buy a phone?
A cawing card.
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
Police: *Arrests me*