Hey guys! Just a reminder that the guy below me is a crying bitch! Have a good day!
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!
Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
What do you call field day in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
Pornhub suggesting me MILF on Mother's Day...
Wanna know something the orphan could never do?
Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
What holiday can an orphan not celebrate?
Mother's Day and Father's Day.
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
whys a orphan's least favorite day field trip day because they can't get a parents signature
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.
