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GENESIS 12 The Call of Abram 1The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. 2“I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. 3I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.” 4So Abram went, as the Lo… Read more

GENESIS 11 The Tower of Babel 1Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. 2As people moved eastward, they found a plain in Shinar and settled there. 3They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. 4Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name … Read more

“I see,” said the blind man to his deaf wife sitting in the corner of a round room, as he picked up his hammer and saw. =‘)

I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. fucking damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realize Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid tiny fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god.

GENESIS 8 1But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and the livestock that were with him in the ark, and he sent a wind over the earth, and the waters receded. 2Now the springs of the deep and the floodgates of the heavens had been closed, and the rain had stopped falling from the sky. 3The water receded steadily from the earth. At the end of the hundred and fifty days the water had gone down, 4and on the sev… Read more

GENESIS 6 Wickedness in the World 1When human beings began to increase in number on the earth and daughters were born to them, 2the sons of God saw that the daughters of humans were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose. 3Then the Lord said, “My Spirit will not contend with humans forever, for they are mortal; their days will be a hundred and twenty years.” 4The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—a… Read more

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This is completely a waist of time, but worth it at the same time.

*Dad's sitting on the couch reading news paper when wife walks in*

Husband: "This music.. Is the final boss coming? Or worse.. It's my wife..."

Wife: "You jobless monkey... Money to pay bills doesn't grow on tree's"

Husband: "Well it's no my fault.. And I was born poor *Over it* If I was son of Bill Gates I'd bathe in money.."

Wife: "First go bat… Read more

I cheated on my wife with a 13 year old so he beat me, raped me, then put my dick in a blender and fucked my wife as I watched

My wife told me to get on my computer or she’s going to smash my head into the computer guys I think she’s dudgsribvsgdyijxegb

I mistakenly sexted my wife’s sister A couple years ago I was on a business trip and missing my wife. I decided to take a suggestive picture (me in my boxer briefs, clearly with a bulge and just the tip sticking out the top) and send it to my wife. We don’t usually sext but I figured she’d appreciate knowing I was thinking of her.

It was late, I was tired, and barely paying attention. I accidentally sent it to her s… Read more