some songs just give me anxiety, some things just do, some people. Some popele are bad for me, im bad for some. I do fucked up things, i cant take back. My dad is right. no matter what poeple think, its true. im manulative, im controlling, im obessive, attention seeking. some people see it, others dont. everythgin i do has a reason, weather its a defecne, or not. ill stilll be bad for some pople. im thanfull these people cant see it, but i still contuinie to manuplatie them.. they dont deserve it. but i dont care to stop, its eaiser to not. i dont even see when i do it. i get mad at nothing, i have no reason to be mad. im mad all the time. its eaiser to be mad than anything else. but when popele start to realise, and stop caring, i cant be mad. my dad was right, one day im going to wak eup and realise no one is on my side. soon there will truely be no one left for me someones going to tell them "thats fucked up what she dose" and convince them to steer clear of me. i dont have control of how i feel inside. i dont cut, i dont want to kill myself. i sometimes cut, i sometimes want to kill myself.. just because i have a plan dosent mean im going to do it.. i dont know what to do. i dont know why im posting. im not done, i have a life ahead of me. i just dont think no matter what i do, itll be right.