huh

i love you mommy

ilyt

GUYS SPEAK

HI

HIII

opalll

MAYY HI HOW ARE YOU

hiiiiiii

hii im good

eating a bbg chicken mini pizza

HI MAL HI MAY

STOP I HAVE A MINI PIZZA TOO

I just ate pasta

HIII HRU

AYYAYA

Hii !! ^^

bello

Mal how was ur red bull

IM JS NOW DRINKING IT HEHEHE

its so good

WhAT FLAVor

peachhh

hot take but I like the original one

i like monster

i like white monster

but i never drink monster cus it makes me nauseous

...

white monster is peakkkk

i bet you like your bfs white monster

there's like so much of it too I like the portion of red bull

my bfs white monster 😩

LMAOAOAO

STOP

I WAS TYPING ABT IT WHEN YOU SENT THAT

OOp-

im so smart

he n i joke abt that a lot cus he likes white monster

oooh i see

ugh bro I MISS HIM

my boyfriend doesn't drink that he just smokes a lot of cigs 😭

😭

😭😭😭

he will like smoke 5 cigarettes back to back

ew bro

he's so funny lmoaoaaoa

ew

smokings a deal breaker for me ngl

cigs are gross

Germans bro germans

frr

I literally love cigarettes but I'm just a fat chud with greasy hair

shut upo

vaping is arguably worse

your gergous

THAKN YEW I WAS MAINLY JOKING

THO

OHH]

im dumb

nah it godo

good

yea cigs js smell so bad

i cant handle the smell anymore

I hate the smell of weed

i love weed

mm

they also the reason my lungs are WRECKED

ugh me too

guys

the topic were disgussing in health

drinking is better ngl

i dont like it

its about

like

about wat

teen pregnacy and what happend when a woman is prgnet like to her vjay

and

brotha euuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh

about stds

and js

teen sex

its ew

vajayjay

my brother

when he was like 7

said he knew what a "girl penis" was called

so i was like ok smarty pants whats it called

and he said

bro I WANT A DIH

"perchina"

LMAOAO

REAL

ooh-

oop*

bro I'd lokwey peg my bf he's so peggable

why is that so real

OMG MALLLL

me and mythias got back tg

and i talked to him

whaaaaaaat

and told him

WAIT IS THAT THE GUY WHO OWNED YOU OR WHATEVER

to calm donw on the inaporiote stuff

tehe

that is gud

so are y'all dating again

yeah :P

yeah

epic ahh

how long were y'all dating before

yurr

I JUST REALISED I MISSED HIS BIRTHDAY

NAUUUUU

IT THINK IT WAS LAST WEEKEND OR THIS WEEKEND

say it to him now!

NOOOOO

^^^

i just told him i missed it and im sorry

god im so bad

and before we where tg for a few weeks

ut he said he needed a break

oh so y'all didn't really break up then???

i mean

im not sute

I think when he said we wanted to take a break he meant to stay tg

idk

c

that's fair

he said "get back tg"

oh that's odd

so i think he wanted to breakup with intentions of getting back tg

oohh

we got back tg friday

on the 6th

i would still count as your break as you guys were still dating ngl

i dont want to

because

i kinda mybae got with him the day i broke up with emily.

and

it just feels wrong to start then

even though i did

so i want to start now

damn

now that i know i want him for him nto for rebound

having a reset is valid in this situation then ngl

yeah

i just really want to have a real relationship with him

and nothing sexual

but i cant trust myself

you should tell him that

i will

yay

i just i sometimes say that always go against it

wdym

idk i just came to think its the only way a man will love me is i put myself out there

so i keep doing it

and i dont know how to stop

thats fair

do you mean sexually?

yes

the way i look at it is a boy will love me for only my body but a man will love me for who i am

and boys shouldnt be dating anyone til they grow tf up

idk

i really want an irl relationship

but i really like mythias

i just

dont wanna ruin it

by oushing myself on him

like i do over and over with every guy

and idk if i tell him now :dont let me this" if when and if i try to he wont stop me.

hell just let me do it, or hell do it

i understand that

i really dont like the way I am

thats so hard I'm sorry

no its okay

please dont feel bad for me

i was just raised to let people use me

yeah i feel that

that's not true you have so much purpouse

guys

can you help me with something?

sure

yeah

ok so

do you think if i went to my youth pasters wife, who i think of as a mom

with this

she would help me without telling my dad?

I think so

yes

do you think i should go to her for help?

yes

yes

well

im really bad at wrods

pastors and youth pastors ik have an obligation to keep things confidential (unless its directly harmful ofc), and i think it's probably the same for their wives, at least ethically

so can you help me write a note?

please.

yeah

what do i write?

like

what do is tart with

ima write it on a google doc and copy it

i'd begin with how important it is to you that this information doesnt get anywhere beyond her so she knows not to go to your dad

okkay

one sec ellme do this quiz rq

oki doki

mal

yes

i know i havent even wrote it

but im like

eally scared to give it to her or tell anyone

like it dose kinda seem like im open with it but no one outside of wje knows about these things

yeah

what if its a mistake?

hat if she thinks im gross for it

what if she hugs me and tells me itll be okay

i dont think she will

think your gross

and then i hate myself

because i just gave her another thing to worry about

part of being involved in a church like that is the willingness to be there when you're needed

those people are willing to give their time and energy to others because thats what we're called to do

so even if it feels like youre being a burden youre not

and i just

i dont how ready i am

to let someone know

i understand that

but youre never really going to be fully ready

we never feel ready to do hard things

ok.

but once its finally off your chest its so freeing

when me and my ex broke up i didnt tell anyone anything he did to me cus i was ashamed and didnt want to worry anyone, but once i finally did tell someone it felt like i could breathe again

i wanna kill your ex

and i dont think itll be much different for you once that weight its a little less heavy

ok..

ok i said

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vEQiJwbbP_GqmhaBNQp773omBpkOJq3vy1E3x-3lM9Y/edit?usp=sharing

thats good so far

but what do i say?

like

just tell her what you want her to know with as much or as little detail or explanation as you want

i cant really tell you what to write cus idk what youre comfortable with telling her

ik

but i dont know how to word it:

yeah

do i say snese i was nine year old men have been using me and it ingraved into my head that the only way a man will love me is if i put myself out there?

or do i say like

Its been tattod onto my brain the only way a man will love me is if i put myself out there and

id say this since it provides a little more context

ok

fuck why is this so hard to write

cus its js a lotta awful stuff

ok i think i wrote it

I'm back

hii

i think thats good

hi opal

.

hey yall

...

dad

im telling a trusted adult about some of my trauma

cosmo

hi

who?

someone atmy chruch

guys someone is telling me if i tell her shes gonna tell my dad

Cosmo I know something about you that no one else knows

or think its a family memeber

that's good

oh yeah sure...

I do

me and Kayla know it

and that is...

kayla is someone else

i cant say cuz its gonna start drama

oh

ok wait may

I'll say it

ok

and then delete it

ok

oh?

its obvious bruh

hm?

im not going to er

say anyhting on that topic

me neither

its just a conspiracy of mine

but opal do you think my youth pastors wife will tell my dad?

no I don't think so

show me...

show you what?

opal

I'll tell you when the time is right

opal said that what she knows is that you have two hands

charlie tell me

wait i wanna knowwww

...

i dont break a freinds trust

Cosmo I swear I'll tell you later

mhm...

whatd you sayy

she said cosmo has two hands

smh.

yurr

liess

i have to go work on school

ill be on later

love yall <3

byee

...

wiat rq

what if she tells my dad or the police bcuz she thinks im in danger or like being sexually harrased like

currently

i don think she will

but she like would want to protect me

and if she thinks im in danger

i dont think shell bring your dad or the police into it

ok..

now i rly gotta do school

tttyl

okk

hmph

*totally ignoring the fact that jomoki has smoked before*

yeah

i mean if its a legit addiction

thats impacting their lives

mhm

but mainly he'd just smoke coffee or just straight up paper

idgaf if its js sometimes

fair

i kinda js see it like drinking

like if its js sometimes then wtv

js dont get addicted and rely on it

i physically can't stand the smell even after my program and one of my coworkers at the museum also was a heavy smoker

i dont like the smell but im used to it

i grew up around it constantly

which is why my lungs hate me

rely

yeah..?

why u repeating me

i hate that word

ok..

idc?

it feels too idk skinny

tf

idk

like jus a vibe

...

gng what'

idk i just hate how it looks

it looks kinda weird

but i js suck it up

cus im a big girl

...

uh

but not when it comes to responsibilities

realllllll

omg i get my bf back soon

yayayay

im so exciteddddddddddd

lol same

yayayayyayayayayayyyyyyyy

and also i might get to see him later this month

nice

that boy better graduate on time

real

promise to kill him if he don't

no

no killing him

uh

a light smack?

no

hmph

then what

nothing bad 😭

uh then like send him some flowers

ill make him paper flowers

and then smack the shit out of him

no

dammit

today i went outside and was hot in my hoodie

its so nice out

it's in the 80's here

it was low 60s today

jomoki'd say that you always are hot in your hoodie

which is like perfect

frrr

he'd prolly say with or without my hoodie

yea lol

ur welcome for rizzing you up in his absence

that ruined it

ur welcome

im goin to utah for a 3 day camping trip

nice

mhm

you doing anything?

not rn

i might go to the beach for the sunset

depends on my mood

oh nice

that'd be pretty fun to do