Post

get me a burger im hungry af rn

Get me some chicken fries

Just get me food plasss

i want fries i'm craving salty shit rn

CHICKEN FRIES CHICKEN FRIES CHICKEN FRIES

FOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

SALTTTTTTTT

CHICKEN FRIES BUT NOT THE SPICY ONES THE NORMAL ONES

I NEED FUCKING FOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I WANT SALTY SHITTTTTT GET ME SOME FRIES

GIMEE MY FUCKIN FRIES

can i please get a whopper jr wit onion rings

I WANT A NUMBER 13 THAT BURGER KING FOOT FUNGUS

y’all never heard the song lmao?

Burger King

dawgs i'm dying i need something salty wtf

AMY I WANT FOOOOOOODDDDDDD

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FDEiOHUxhOk&pp=ygVSaSdtIGluIGEgZHJpdmUgdGhydSBhIGJ1cmdlciBraW5nIGNhbiBpIHBsZWFzZSBnZXQgYSB3aG9wcGVyIG9uaW9uIHdpdGggbm8gY2hlZXNlIA%3D%3D

I got something salty

ayo gimme some of dat

AT BK HAVE IT YOUR WAY YOU RULEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Drink saltwater

🍔

ayoooo lmfao

mmmmmm delicious

omg bookie thxs so much

*eats burger*

*hands a singular French fry* Get ur head outta the gutter

nawww bro i need more fries than thattt

*yeets a box at her head* H E A D S H O T

ruuuuude *eats fries off ground hoping no one's looking* n o m

*subet

*subtly eats a cardboard box*

wtf is going on in this chat bro

Quiet, Im eating

ayyyyy dp gimme some cardboard i'm still hungry

NO ITS MINE*jumps out window and plummets to death*

Average BP userbase moment

*takes cardboard from dead hands* N O M

fr

*puddle*

*casually eats stolen cardboard*

MAL STOP NOMING ALL OVERR THE GODAMN CHATTTTT

WTF

N O M

*alive* GIMME BACK MY FOOD U COCKSUCKER, GET OVER HERE!!

I want McDonald's friessss

*stuffs all the cardboard down throat* good luck getting it now

GRAPPLING HOOK AWAAAY!

*gags*

YALLL ARE ON CRACK LOL

BET*reaches in and grabs it* MY BOX

h a i r b a l l

Nah I’m on weed

noOoOoOOOoOOOooOoO

DONT UNDERESTIMATE MY KETAMINE INTAKE

Nah

*noms crack*

*scurries away*

MAL WTF

MY ASSCRACK!!

*slaps mal back into reality*

DP STFU

*consumes all the crack*

*fades out of existence since I’m not even real*

*takes dp's cardboard* NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

My cardboard

*cardbaoed fades away too*

NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

NOOOOO DP GET THE FUCK BACK HERE WITH MY CARDBOARD

yall weird af

*nonexistent af*

Indeed

aww thanksss dawg

NO

YOU BETTER EXIST AND GIVE ME THE CARDBOARD

*finds brick*

ooo yummy

*inhales brick*

*still nonexistent*

mal u need help

wut bricks are salty

wtf yall on some shit fr

dammitttttttttt

i think it's the cardboard

*still very much nonexistent*

I'm going to cave in my skull with a brick <3

OMFG GET BACK HEREEEEEEEE

do not do that may bricks are for eating not killing

*more nonexistent than the twin towers*

DPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP GET BACK HEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCK

*gives mal a whole house* i bet u cant eat that

If you want to be a bitch about it they are for building, don't eat any more bricks

oh yeah bet *eats house*

*more nonexistent that Gwen Stacy after hitting the pavement*

wtf now im homeless

DP GET THE FUCK BACK HERE WITH THAT CARDBOARD

*more nonexistent than Hitler’s art career*

heheheheheheheheheheehheheh it tasted good though

*does the huimlec to get my house back

*spits out house*

More nonexistent than ur dad*

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

GIVE ME MY CARDBOARDDDDDDDDd

My dad is very existent

*more nonexistent than pigeons*

thank you *picks up house and puts it back*

STAWP IT I JUST WANT MY CARDBOARDDDD 😭 *eats pigeon*

anytime 👍

Stop eating everything

*more nonexistent than an IKEA with an exit*

that’s what she said

oop thats what her mama said

lmaoo

hell naw bro i'm lost j thinking about IKEA

*more nonexistent than Jassy’s house*

L Homeless

heyyy I have Jassy's house back!

oop

Noooo

*randomly gets reincarnated as a toilet*

*opens door* yo jassy you got any cats in here?

wtf is wrong with yall

oh shit (quite literally)

*reincarnated as a toilet inside the house*

dawg i dunno

no i got ankle bitters though

OOOH SKIBIDI BOP BOP OH YES YES SKIBIDI DOP DOP BEEP BEEP

*sets winnie and nino out on mal*

hey dp! *grabs cardboard* i got your 🎵cardboarddd🎵

ooooooooo yes

OOOOOOH SKIBIDI BOP BOP OH YES YES

Trauma depression anxiety and a touch of being ✨stupid as hell✨

slayyyyyyy

*becomes a floating toilet*

dont touch my dogs mal or me and u finna fight

*yeets out of window after cardboard box* OOH SKIBIDI BOP BOP OH YES YES

*eats all dogs in 10 mile radius*

*looks at dogs*

*eats cardboard*

mal i swear ima beat your ass

*pokes dog* booooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

Noo not mads

*licks dog* hehehehehheheheheheheeeeeeee

*gets angary* SKIBIDI BOP BOP OH YES YES *rams into her and makes her barf up the cardboard*

*beats mals ass so that she cant walk or talk*

*grabs cardboard and eats again*

*puts winnie and nino on the other side of the earth

*grabs cardboard in mouth and helicopters through the roof*

*in head* AH SHIT

I'll kick your ass

AH HAILLLL NAWWWWWW *snaps helicopter spinny thingys*

*falls over*

*eats cardboard* *burps in alpha male*

*shoots eye lasers in angry*

wtf

*grunts in alpha male*

🎵I'm a big kid now🎵

*glitches error and fades out of existence*

welllll at least I have the cardboard...*casually nibble cardboard*

Alpha males ahh so wonderful totally better than those betas

yes 1000000000%

*gets reincarnated as a gigachad with big booty*

alpha males ftw *beats chest like a gorilla*

*epik gigachad theme playz*

*grows massive muscles*

Yess alpha

*just casually walks then teleports and heimlichs her*

*breaths in new alpha scent* mmmmm

*rizz face for no reason whatsoever, then punt kicks*

Xhftjfhfyhkc alpha

*grabs cardboard box and disappears into the walls and fades away like an SFM*

OH FUCK NO YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ALPHA MESS WITH THE ALPHA AND GET ALPHA-SCREWED

sluuuuuuuuurp alpha

*gone*

*eats the walls* I sEeEEEeeee youuuUUuuu

SHIT

(wait did Jessy disappear???)

**Jassy

Alpha-screwed oh yeah 😏

oh hell yeah there ain't nothing like getting alpha-screwed

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tp1-4XWOa5g

Someone alpha-screw me

here I cooome

😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

...????

ohhhhhh yeah bbg

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

why the fuck does this even exist lmaoooooo

🍎

Alphascrewing time

slayyyyyyy

*pops back into existence, twerks, light skin stare, then fades away again*

*follows dp* g i v e...m e...m y...c a r d b o a r d

*appears in a night club*

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Mmmmmmm cardboard

omfg imm get hiiiigh tonight

nothing quite like it, precious, scared cardboard///

*smokes weed, fart

wtf

is it a weedy fart?

*gets high, slaps face with cardboard, then disappears again*

FUCK

*appears back and twerks then disappears again*

damn yall on some serious shit

*follows dp again* i JuSt WaNt My CaRdBoArD

i challenge you to a twerk battle winner takes cardboard

just give her the godamn cardboard or she is gonna kill u

*appears on the top of the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001, at 8:15 am*

oop slayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

*hits dp, knocking towers down*

*twerks on the mass destruction*

i win

*grabs cardboard box, winks, and disappears*

oop

WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU

lmao

*twerks and disappears*

LMAFO

*appears on the moon*

DP YOU GET BACK HERE AND PARTICIPATE IN MY TWERK BATTLE

I WANNA SEE YOU TWERK LIKE A REAL MAN

💀

*appears badk*

eats the moon*

OH SH-*diseepars*

THERE you are. now prepare to lose, no one can beat my alpha male twerks

I WANT MY CARDBOARDDDDDD *screams in twerk*

*appears in Hitler’s bunker during WW2*

*shoots Hitler

*eats hitler's mustache*

wait wut do we do about his gf

*whacks her with chair and disappears*

*twerks before following dp*

*appears on mars*

*sharts on mars*

tf

*twerks on mars causing it to explode then disappears again*

damn bro that was a manly twerk *follows dp*

*appears at a duck pond and twerks and blows up the pond*

*bites dp's head off*

*disepears headless*

DON'T KILL THE DUCKS!!!! *twerks ducks back into existence*

shit how are you not dead yet???

*appears 1000000000 meters under the ocean*

*slurps the ocean up* ha

N O M

*regrows head , winks, and disappears again*

👁 👄 👁

*twerks behind dp, slightly concerned at how tf he grew his head back so quickly*

*appears in Hell and twerks and blows it up*

ooop

*trades soul to the devil for a cardboard box* HA

*shoots fire out of ass at Mal when she appears before disappearing*

*twerks the devil out of existence before deal can be made*

YOU COOKED MY FUCKING CARDBOARD

yall got me diying rn like damn yall are funny af

lmaooooooooooooooo thx dawgggggg

*appears at Mal’s school*

*makes deal with god: sells dp's soul for cardboard box*

*twerks and explodes it so hard it reaches into heaven and blows it up*

jokes on you cause my school is AT CHURCH SO BOW DOWN AND PRAY OR BE SACRIFICED AT THE ALTAR

nppp

*twerks and explodes heaven and hell with my twerkiness*

*eats heaven* mmmm tastes heavenly

NAR YOU ATE MY DINNER

*twerks so rapidly I literally die*

*cardboard box dies tpo*

i..........got.........god's...........cardboard..........*gags up hairball*............*gags up bricks*............*gags up jassy's dog's fur*........consumes god's cardboard..............A-FUCKING-MEN.........

*comes back to life and takes it then twerks to hard it blasts Mal back*

oh hey dude sup

WAIT A SECOND WHERE'S MY CARDBOARD

oh I ate it

dammit

*beats mals ass hey dude wtf is wrong with u

*beats her ass and painfully extracts the cardboard from her digestive system*

*bandages ass* heyyyyyy *twerks* owwwwww Jassy I can't twerk that well anymore

DAWG. WUT. SINCE WHEN ARE YOU A SURGEON

*shoves a metal pole up her ass and yeets her into a volcano*

good

owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww my ass my beautiful ass

*transforms into a cat*

*licks ass*

M O W

*twerks the volcano out of existence and disappears with cardboard*

i cat i sit in cardboard

cardboard = home

i need home

😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

*gets transported back because of cat power*

M O W

worship me soft can opener

NO. NONONONONONO

YOU

YOULL NEVER TAKE ME

BOW DOWN

MOW

NEVAAAA

*licks paws*

M O W

Shi-*flops over and dies*

*hairball*

*sits in cardboard box*

perioddddddddd✨

*gets reincarnated as a duck*

mow

Q U A C K

*transforms into cardboard box*

*inhales cardboard box through ass*

QUACK

ah shit now i'm inside a duck

*flys out of beak*

suckahhhh

*shits*

ewww duck shit

*blasts shit out of mouth and hits her out of the sky*

ewwwww now I'm dirty

*takes shower*

SHIT I'M SOGGY NOW (twss)

*inhales shower with her in it*

*shits it out* then

*eats duck's intestines*

*shits out then inhales back through ass then shits out again*

gn yall ttyl

gnnnnnnnnnnnnn jassyyyy

Gn! What am I even saying..

byeee

no idea man lmao

byeeeeee

Byeeeee

dawg i j went through a duck's ass like 10x I think i need therapy now

*goes to group therapy*

i-i-i got inhaled through a duck's ass...and-and-and I ate it's intestines

*inhales therapy building then repeats the process* Q U A C K

wut no i don't have schizophrenia

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *ptsd*

*repeats 10x*

*ptsd 10x*

*dihareea

*sharts hotly*

Q U A C K

P U R R

*barfs out mouth*

*sharts out ass*

*inhales the white house*

*licks off donald trump's fake tan*

*inhales Biden’s secret stash of children*

oo now you'll be young forever

*baby duck*

Quk

*kitten*

What is happening here

magic

*twerks in duck*

P U R R

*inhales and repeats the process again*

ACKKKKK

H I S S

*shits out therapy building*

oh finally i can get therapy again

*nods*

hey jessica sorry for the...shitty...disruption..as I was saying...

what no i swear I'm not cursed

omg jEsSiCaaAaAAAaaAAa

*walks in building and start inhaling patients in other rooms silently*

oh no Jessica it's okay...odds are he'll inhale me instead of you...yeah it's happened a couple times, actually...it's fine, he shits me out after a lil bit.

mass destruction lmao

*kicks door down and light skin rizz stare*

*jessica swoons*

NO JESSICA DON'T FALL FOR IT-

*harder stare*

*turns back into a gigachad Deadpool*

*Jessica blushes*

*jessica faints*

*walks over and just yeets her agaisnt the wall*

*jessica bleeds out*

*snaps fingers and heals her then just yeets her at Mal*

I'm very much confused

I AM A GIGACHAD. FEEL MY POWER.

oh wow what thw fuck is going on

NARRR JESSICA FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOUUU

No clue

*snaps bed into existence*

NAR JESSICA GET OFF OF ME

*explodes Jessica*

omg Jessica you got blood all over my fucking bed

*snaps her back into existence with bigger boobies*

i think dp and i are going insane

(Im fucking dying rn)

omg jessica where'd you get them tits

(same bro)

*bigger*

damn Jessica stop you're gonna suffocate me

oh alright

*BIGGER*

*chokes on M I L K*

*B I G G E R*

Massive tits

*stutters* ....nar....

can i have mcdonalds fries

(I’m coughing)

(I can't breath well enough to cough rn)

*BIIIIIIGGGGGEEEERRR*

I can't eat McDonald's fries

Stupid gluten

Fuck gluten

sad existence

*passes out from oxygen deprication*

**deprivation

deprication

;-;

*rails Jessica with a fkcin train*

ok im out

byebye

*breaths* OH HOLY FUCKING SHIT

byeee chex

*just explodes the building with a train*

*flys into the air* I'M LIKE FLAPPY BIRD

*runs into random levitating wall*

*summons an infinite amount of trains and yeets them all into the sky*

you guys are so creative

*falls into the choo choo thingy on the top that the steam comes out of*

*turns Jessica into a toaster

i think this is the result of me being overtired lmfao

is it past your bedtime daddy maddy

*just crashes 50 trains into Mal*

mm toast *eats jessica's finger* hmm this is very fleshy toast

you can't kill me cause I'm an ALPHA MALE *laughs in alpha*

*crashes 34 planes into all 4 paws*

it's 11:17 pm for me 💀

10:17

YOU GET OFF OF MY SUGAR BABY

*turns Jessica back into a human with BIGGGGGGEEERRR bobbies*

oh damn, couldnt be me its 8:17

*screams in alpha male*

*laughs in Skeletor*

wheee *gains flight power*

oh my gosh Jessica you could provide earth with 2 more moons with those tits

Hopefully that'll be my time zone soon

*crashes a giant Moai into all 4 paws*

G E T...O F F...M Y...S U G A R...B A B Y

tits

Who?

who?

Romi?

(i read that as mole and was so confused) Becomes conscious, is aware of lifes greatest questions

Remi?

Chex?

Ratatouille

Heh we afe

Yes

yeh

yeah haha

R u her ex?

mhmm

wait no

fuck

wut

Remember Chex said she was getting her ex or her buddy to join?

CALLED IT!!

ohhh yeahhhhh

mhm

thats crazy

Alr im all out of trains and planes and god power

chex

We call her Chex

hell yeah

i have prevailed

lmao

No

naw

she was on earlier but she said she had to go

She left because of the weird shit we were saying, so she might be offline

wait guys i want chocolate milk

omg me too

ill be back in like twenty minutes

I want strawberry milk

so do i omfg

STRAWBERRY MILK IS AMAZING

kayyy bb

Smart men please 🥺❤️❤️🥺

just want your milk tho honestly 🥵🥵

IT TAKES 20 MINUTES TO GET CHOCOLATE MILK??

yuh

Yep!

MY CATS ARE FUCKING MEOWING THEIR HEADS OFF I HAVE TO FEED THEM

yeah lol

brb guys

PATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

get me some milk tooo bb

Yes

NI JOIN NAKAAA YESSSSSSSSSSS

There she is

my cat got a tag stuck to her face and now she's freaking out

OH SHIT SHE ATE IT

Oh shit I can’t see I’ve been staring at this screen too long

bruh fr we were going on with that random shit for like 2 hours

U speaking Tagalog?

I'm tired

me too

I’m not

Fhgfkhvhnghchvyhcjgujghvgjvhbg I want to leave this stupid house

i bet

damn bro

dp what time is it for you?

8:28

ah that makes sense then

Why can't I just leaveeee why can't this shit be easy

you'll be able to leave eventually. i'm sure of it

Yeah but probably not any time soon

Alr, well don’t start any more stupid shit without me, ima get off for now lol, I’ll be on again tmrw, byeeeee

i'm sure you will

you got this

kayy byeeeeee

Bye

I mean I have like no proof or anything vgggkiisvjohcsvkhshjtwxujcd

but you'll get the proof you need

i believe in you <3

:)

:)

mhmmm me too

yk i woke up at 4:40 today omg

dawg whyyyy

morning practice 😭😭 i wanna quit istg

literally only staying cause i got friends on the team lol

Oof

What sport

damnn

swimming

Nice

its kinda fun but its too cold all the time

and like all the normal pools are broken so were practicing at this silly ahh one

I want to learn how to swim

AH okay bet

okay so

deep inhale

and

dont drown

boom

you swam

Fuck oh wow bro I just won an Olympic medal in women's swimming thanks for the advice

youre welcome omg

im just like wikihow

Hell yeah

kay dawgs i think imma go to sleep now i'm tired af

gn mads

love ya

luv youuuuuu tooo 💕

gngn

have a nice sleep :)

💕

i'll try :)

:) tty tm

💕

musta naman ka

You guys are losers

thank you

I only eat at McDonald's, not that burger king shit or something

never tried burger king lol

everyones off now

No

You first

Nigga

wym u first dafuq

I'm not joking

eh its not like life is worth living for

Shut up bitch

Fucking losers

ok

You are a loser spongebob

that is so sweet thank you so much

What the fuck

what?

Your ot even get offended or something like that

ofc not

Just what the fuck is wrong with you you dumb nigga

why would i get offended? i mean ye its not nice to say it to people but eh i can take it

nothings wrong with me

if ur bored we can talk,but im not forcing you doe

if u wanna say crap okay go ahead

Losers

thank you

No problem bitch

I hope you passed away so that I can be very happy

😊

hm,i dont think i will do that for u since idk you. i would doe for someone i truly care about

you can leave and bother other people if u want, but if ur staying i would gladly talk to you about anything else you wanna talk. im not forcing u so do whatever you want:)

Ladies, relax.

Behave yourselves.

hi

lol i haven't left this post yet lol

and u left lol