Mental breakdown Community

I'm thinking about killing myself. No beacause I want to die, not because my life is "horrible." but beacause it would just be easier. I've hurt everyone I've crossed at least once. My dad wouldn't have to yell anymore. My therapist and friends wouldn't worry. My war would be over. I wouldn't hurt anyone else. There would be peace with my leaving. Maybe it would hurt people, but maybe it's give them time to stop worrying, to heal. It's not like "I'm going to do it," and it's not me having a mental breakdown I feel calm I just feel Life would be easier without me. I fear I already know the answers I'm going to get to this. But i do truly believe, it would be easier without me.

LOL, so I had another mental break down and my brother was an hour away he dropped his plans and drove an hour just to come and give me a hug and talked with me, I love my brother, if it wasn’t for him idk where I would be right now

When I see an anime schoolgirl I have the overwhelming urge to push her down, then watch her get back up again and push her down again, and repeat this over and over until she has a mental breakdown.