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A person walks into a ladies house and says “I’m gunna kill you.” And she’s says “you fool you can’t kill me” and the guy asks “why not” and she reply’s “ I’m in the living room” and the guys says “hey can you get me a drink?” And the lady walks in the kitchen and gets shot in the back

I hate it when dudes try to chase me But I love it when you try to save me 'Cause I'm just a lady I love it when we play 1950 So cold that your stare's 'bout to kill me I'm suprised when you kiss me So tell me why my gods look like you And tell me why it's wrong So, I'll wait For you I'll pray I will keep on waiting for your love For you I'll wait I will keep on waiting for your Did you mean it when you said I was pr… Read more

Remember that a few years ago we had low gas prices low taxes and low crime, non of these things happened after Biden got in office now a war started we are doing nothing about it and gases are skyrocketing and the weird part to me Ukraine was about to join nato yet now we are not helping them.

ROUND 3: A thief enters a shop and threatens the clerk, forcing him to open the safe. The clerk says, "The code for the safe is different every day, and if you hurt me you'll never get the code". But the thief manages to guess the code on his own

what is it?

98% of Harvard students fail this riddle. I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry, I mean guys gotta pee and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities. I make pancakes brown and your champagne bubble. If you squeeze me I'll pop, if you look at me you'll pop. Can you answer the riddle? Find the answer here on Monday around 10:50

I’ve been useing tgis site for awile but can somebody tell me are aconts saved to device? Do I get notifications if I make an acont? I’m ten I can’t let my hot mom see this website I’ll be deadbeat. Also can website owners ban panoply who only have bad puns I think it was better when it was all ofenceive and morbid

Johnny Johnny? Yes pa pa Eating Sugar? Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing i can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.

*trump brushing his teeth as the man behind the slaughter slowly builds up trump now at the us capitol "I was somehthing or soething seeking for revenge something key fo o left th Is it me that im seeking or seeking for someone to evenew me soomethinggg its been so long Ive bin lost in something cuz the man behide the slaghter *trump starts dancing and does rock eyewll thing* ITS BEEEEN SO LONGGGGGGGGG something about something or something the man bhide the slaugther *trump dancing then spinning an shit*

@That guy. Leave me alone you weirdo! *Thank god, you left.* ok I'm done with the internet for today. This is more toxic than twitter. 😭

ow.. well my girlfriend just broke up with me yesterday..found out she didnt like me in the first place after 7 months, thats a kick in the damn nuts..

Heres somethin that hurt i slamd my middle finger in a fire door it was spraying blood on the walls the floor it was stinging and felt like it was pulseing they got me to hospital quick. PS im in foster care

I mistakenly sexted my wife’s sister A couple years ago I was on a business trip and missing my wife. I decided to take a suggestive picture (me in my boxer briefs, clearly with a bulge and just the tip sticking out the top) and send it to my wife. We don’t usually sext but I figured she’d appreciate knowing I was thinking of her.

It was late, I was tired, and barely paying attention. I accidentally sent it to her s… Read more