Before jokes

What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."

How did the hipster burn his tongue?

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.

What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast.

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.

What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?

"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."