Before jokes

What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?

Nothing.

What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."

How did the hipster burn his tongue?

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.

What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast.

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.

What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?

"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."