Auction jokes

A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.

For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.

What do you call a house party for slaves?

An auction house.

What does Can do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.

Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.

YOOO, does anyone need an ark? I know a guy!

You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.

Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.