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Are jokes

What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.

What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.

To those who are dead now, was it fun?

Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?

Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?

Friend 1: Nope, guess again!

Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...

Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D

America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.

Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!

Me: Nothing, why?

Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.

Me that/every night: *sob*

Friends: Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, fine.

Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...

Why are Americans such good chess players?

Because they lost two towers.

Person 1: How smart are you?

Person 2: Really smart.

Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?

Person 2: 1 ghost is left.

Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I tell you, you look pretty, but all you do is look like a poo.

Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar?

They don't have Father's Day and Mother's Day.

The depressed kid getting bullied.

The bully: "You are useless."

The depressed kid: "I know."

When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!

What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.

What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."

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