American Football jokes

Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?

A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”

What's the twin towers' favorite football team?

New York Jets.

Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.

Hairline is so far up, Patrick Mahomes can't even sell to a wide receiver.

Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"

What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?

A quarterback.

What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?

-"I want my quarterback."

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...

I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.